When Clint and I got married last June, family and friends showered us with gifts. These packages were safely tucked in the attic until we could enjoy them with our completed kitchen. Now is the time! We brought down box after box and ended up with a huge pile of cardboard and Styrofoam. Christmas has come early for the Nelsons! 
I used to press my nose against the shiny hardware in Restoration Hardware’s window. I never stepped inside, for fear there was a shopping fee for handling merchandise. This spendy shop is filled with elegant, artful, and overpriced house wares. My heart was set on something from this store, but our budget disagreed. While visiting a friend at the Common Folk boutique, I fell in love with their hardware and ran outside to avoid temptation. Their sidewalk sale then caught my eye. 14 vintage door handles sat in a porcelain blue bowl. I heard a faint “Hallelujah Chorus” as I brought the bowl to the counter, and paid $2 each! Thanks, Common Folk!
Last spring, we bought an oven hood from an Albert Lee clearance event. Albert rightly titled it “event” rather than “sale”. With frenzy akin to Black Friday, shoppers literally ran down aisles ripping tags off of desired appliances. I sprinted in my three inch heels to a neglected store corner to snag the last stainless steel hood. It was retail warfare at its finest. Clint just installed our sparkling hood, which also required squeezing into a not-so-large opening. Note to self: buy more measuring tapes. The hood now sits lonely, awaiting its oven companion.
In ordering countertops, Clint and I opted for the gaudiest granite name we could find: Black Galaxy. There were some close seconds, including “Brazil Butterfly” and “Desert Rose”. While these names paid homage to the 90s pop world, they were all legitimate choices from the glossy retail order forms. A few weeks later, two gentlemen showed up with three slabs of “Black Galaxy” and a few tools. Not the sky-defying experience I had in mind. But their Spartan approach worked well, and within four hours, the room was transformed.
With our kitchen nearly complete, I am looking into careers in the naming business. My limited lexicon and lack of textile experience should work to my advantage. “Smoky Licorice” or “Dark Speckles” would just as well describe our stone—or future songs by Sting.
You can’t grease a fridge to squeeze it through small spaces. We tried. At the Sears Outlet, we found the perfect fridge. It’s a stainless steel beauty with French doors, and pull-out freezer, and tall shelves, and Humidity controllers, and a plethora of buttons. This Samsung model (nicknamed “Sammy”) was slightly too wide for our archaic door frame. With no other way to invite the appliance in, we stored it in our neighbors’ garage. Millwork Outlet provided a lovely new door, and Clint cut a larger opening for it. So, a week later, we brought steely Sammy home and slid him beautifully through our new front entrance. Theoretically, this fridge should’ve fit in its kitchen opening. But there’s a funny thing called “clearance” that French doors require to open. We’re now contemplating a hatch-back variety. Or perhaps we’ll try slicking Sammy once more.
Craigslist has been our surrogate neighborhood garage sale since the purchase of The Blueberry. This mecca of recyclables has provided everything from Clint’s truck to Hardie Plank siding. We have also had run-ins a unique breed of Washingtonians. Craigslist posters seem to fall into three basic categories: Freddy the professional poster, the anti-clutter Smith family, and Tina the desperate city hopper: Inspired by SPAM, ******!!!!!! FREDDY USES CAPS AND UBIQUITOUS EXCLAMATION MARKS TO LURE YOU TO HIS HOMEROOM FLOOR!!!!!******
The Smiths put their Pottery Barn collection up for $5, which sells in 3 minutes. Disappointment marks the 307 calls they receive after selling the amazing deal.
Tina is moving to Japan in an hour and needs to purge her entire apartment. If potential buyers change their mind, she calls them back to explain that the 30” oven will go on a diet to fit in the 29” opening. And she’ll throw in a pink fondue set.
